21st Century Schizoid Medicine Show and Junk Band

99 Revisited

2010-10-19T11:12:00.000-07:00

As inspired by a commenter at Hot Air, a whack at Toto's classic, devoted to the possibility that the Republicans could take 99 seats in the House in two weeks...

99
I've been waiting so long
Oh 99
Where did the Dems go wrong
Oh 99
I love you

99
Don't go breaking my heart
Oh 99
You can give us a start
Oh 99
I love you

I never thought it would happen
But you can turn it for us
We don't want Obamism any more
I knew it would never work out
Dems are to blame
You know i love you 99

99
Turn it hard to the right
Oh 99
Make it day and not night
Oh 99
I love you

I never thought it would happen
But you can turn it for us
We don't want Obamism any more
I knew it would never work out
Dems are to blame
You know i love you 99

99
I can't take it no more
Oh 99
Time to even the score
Oh 99
I love you

I never thought it would happen
But you can turn it for us
We don't want Obamism any more
I knew it would never work out
Dems are to blame
You know i love you 99

Boss of the Union

2010-10-04T19:54:00.000-07:00

Andy Stern may officially be gone as the head of the SEIU (Socialist Extortionists International Union), but he still has the power, as we caught him singing this song on his way to a clandestine meeting with President Obama last week...

Now I'm a union man
Amazed at what I am
I say what I think, that America stinks
Yes I'm a union man

When we meet in the local hall
I'll be voting with them all
With a hell of a shout, it's "Out brothers, out!"
And the rise of America’s fall

Oh, you don't get me, I'm boss of the union
You don't get me, I'm boss of the union
You don't get me, I'm boss of the union
Until the day I die
Until the day I die

SEIU has made me wise
To the lies of the tea party spies
And I don't get fooled by America’s rules
'cause I always read between the lines

And I always get my way
And the money that comes each day
Even though I’m retired, I still roll out in style
And this is what I say:

Oh, oh, you don't get me, I'm boss of the union
You don't get me, I'm boss of the union
You don't get me, I'm boss of the union
Until the day I die
Until the day I die

Before the union did appear
My life was half as clear
Now I've got the power to the working hour
And every other day of the year

So though I'm a union man
I can run the government's plan
And though I'm not hard, the sight of my card
Makes me some kind of superman

Oh, oh, oh, you don't get me, I'm boss of the union
You don't get me, I'm boss of the union
You don't get me, I'm boss of the union
Until the day I die
Until the day I die

You don't get me, I'm boss of the union
You don't get me, I'm boss of the union
You don't get me, I'm boss of the union
Until the day I die
Until the day I die

For the original, go here

Hate To Say We Told You So...

2010-10-01T15:18:00.000-07:00

The American Conservative Chorus has come together for a revise of the Hives' classic "Hate To Say I Told You So."

For your dancing and listening pleasure, here 'tis...

Rush Limbaugh: Boy child disguised in an outfit of lies
You know we told you
Sean Hannity: Reverend Wright and Bill Ayers in full flight
Hey, hey, we told you
Mark Steyn: A man of the left, no intellectual heft
That’s what we told you.
Glenn Beck: Terror, he said, was just all in your head,
Oh, man, we told you.
All: Hate to say I told you so. All right! Come on!
I do believe I told you so.
Mark Belling: Now it's all out and you know cause we all warned you.

Mark Davis: Soldiers are props for some great photo ops
That’s what we warned you.
Walter E. Williams: For business he just has hate
As we had warned you.
Laura Ingraham: Vacationing king and his words have no zing
Indeed, we warned you.
All: Hate to say I told you so. All right! Come on!
I do believe I told you so.

Dom Giordano: Illegals are fine, see, it’s all in your mind
That’s what we told you
Michael Savage: Mentally bent, see the sign – “space for rent”
You know we told you
Rush: Yeah!
Mark Levin: Now we gotta get these dopes the heck out of D.C.
Because we need to.
Ann Coulter: We gotta get our freedom back from this old bunch of dhimmi hacks - we need to.
All: Oh yeah!

For the original, go here

Walk Democrat Walk

2010-09-29T21:31:00.000-07:00

The latest update of the classic Hives tune... Walk Democrat Walk...

Well is it true what they say about it
They say it's new but I have to doubt it
And then they tell you everything about it
Man it’s bad

I got some people saying this way
I got some people saying that way
I got some people saying there's no way
Ain't it sad

See the idiot walk
See the idiot talk
See the idiot chalk up his name on the blackboard
See the Democrat walk
See the Democrat talk
See the Democrat write up his name on the ballot
They say this is all I need to get by
The truth is baby it's a lie

Well is it true what they say about it
You oughtta do what I do and doubt it
He won and now he's gonna do something about it
Ain't it sad

And if you don't wanna feel like a putz
Collect the clues and connect the dots
You'll see the pattern that is bursting your bubble
And it's Bad

See the idiot walk
See the idiot talk
See the Democrat chalk up his name on the blackboard
They say this is all I need to get by
The truth is baby it's a lie

If we review the winning combination
Body at work and a mind on vacation
Who had the brain where it started to sink in
It was you

You've seen the idiot walk
See the idiot talk
But you never learned nothing and nothing isn't over
See the Democrat walk
See the Democrat talk
Still you never learned nothing and nothing isn't over
They say this is all I need to get by
The truth is baby it's a lie

For the original, go here.

The Great Pretender 2010

2010-09-29T14:52:00.000-07:00

We now know a lot more about the president than we used to know. A high White Horse souse tipped us to what he's now singing in the halls of the White House late at night...

Oh yes, I'm the great pretender
Pretending I'm doing well
My need is such
I pretend too much
I'm lonely but no one can tell

Oh yes, I'm the great pretender
Fox News just won't let me alone
I'm always right, but they keep up the fight
And Rush is there still piling on.

Too real is this feeling of make-believe
Too real when I feel what my heart can't conceal

Oh yes, I'm the great pretender
I pulled the wool over their eyes
I seem to be what I'm not you see
My image is nothing but lies

Too real is this feeling of make-believe
Too real when I feel what my heart can't conceal

Oh yes, I'm the great pretender
Too many have seen through my mask
I've been exposed for the thief in my heart
I'm wearing my heart like a crown

While I'm tearing America down
(America down).

For the original, go here

Joe Man

2010-09-29T14:38:00.000-07:00

There is a coach whose teams have won nearly 400 games -- at the same school.
The school, of course, is Penn State. The coach -- Joe.
The song? Joe Man.

Comin' to ya on a mountain road
Good football we got a truckload
And when you get it you got something
So don't worry cause we're coming

I'm a Joe man
I'm a Joe man
I'm a Joe man
I'm a Joe man

Got what I got the Lions way
And they make it better each and every day
So honey don't you fret
Cause you ain't seen nothing yet

I'm a Joe man
I'm a Joe man
Play it Steve!
I'm a Joe man
I'm a Joe man

Listen
Ain't no Buckeyes we can't beat
No Wolverines we can't defeat
Kill the Hawkeyes, Badgers too
Ain't nothin' our Nittany Lions can't do

I'm a Joe man
I'm a Joe man
I'm a Joe man
I'm a Joe man

We're in our seats for whiteout night
All set to go and cheer the mighty Lions
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

I'm a Joe man
You're a Joe man
I'm a Joe man
I'm a Joe man
I'm a Joe man
I'm a Joe man

For the Blues Brothers version, go here

For Sam and Dave, here

The Thrill Is Gone

2010-09-29T14:20:00.000-07:00

Our staff found this classic from PMSNBC commentator Chris Matthews, The Thrill is Gone...
The thrill is gone
The thrill is gone away
The thrill is gone baby
The thrill is gone away
My leg don't get that tingle now
I'm afraid it's gone to stay

The thrill is gone
It's gone away from me
The thrill is gone baby
The thrill is gone away from me
Although I'll still live on
You've so disappointed me

The thrill is gone
It's gone away for good
Oh, the thrill is gone baby
Baby its gone away for good
Don't know if I can get over it all
Just like I know a man should

You know I'm free, free now baby
I'm free from your spell
I'm free, free now
I'm free from your spell
You done let me down hard
All I can do is say go to hell.

For the original, go here

Ohio 2010

2010-09-16T16:54:00.000-07:00

With the latest news that national Democratic Party honchos are about to give up on candidates in Ohio, this is the dirge that those candidates are now singing...

Tea partiers on the march now
We're finally on our own
November will hear the dirges
We're done in Ohio

Gotta get down to it
Health care is gunning us down
Didn't the leadership know?
What if they knew it and just let us drown
How can we give this a go?

Tea partiers on the march now
We're finally on our own
November will hear the dirges
We're done in Ohio

For the original, go here.

I'm Your Puppet 2010

2010-09-15T17:46:00.000-07:00

James and Bobby Purify first offered this ditty. With a few lyrical tweaks, this is the song of the House Democrats, dedicated to Nancy Pelosi...

Pull the string and I'll wink at you, I'm your puppet
I'll do funny things if you want me to, I'm your puppet

I'll be yours to have and to hold
Darling you've got full control of your puppet

Pull another string and I'll vote your way, I'm your puppet
Snap your finger and I'll give the OK, I'm your puppet

Your every wish is my command
All you gotta do is wiggle your little hand
I'm your puppet, I'm your puppet

I'm just a toy, just a funny boy
That makes your plans all go through
I'll be wonderful, do just what I'm told
I'll do anything for you
I'm your puppet, I'm your puppet

Pull them little strings and I'll sing you a song, I'm your puppet
Make me do right or make me do wrong, I'm your puppet

Treat me good and I'll do anything
I'm just a puppet an you hold my string, I'm your puppet
Yeah, I'm your puppet

Walking, talking, living, loving puppet
I'm hanging on a strin, I'll do anything now

I'm a walking, talking, living, loving puppet, and I honor you

I'm a smiling happy face when you want me to
Even make you happy when you're feeling blue

For the original, go here

The Barack Obama Medicine Show

2010-09-14T16:23:00.000-07:00

This is one show I would not recommend...

If you're bored or crazy, got nowhere to go
Careful if you catch this show
You'll see tons of sinners, you'll see losers, not winners
All kinds of KoolAid drinkers in a row.
If you get it, you will regret it.
Barack Obama's Medicine Show.

You know he never holds it in a tent
Only in a big arena, with Greek colonnades for rent.

He's the great deceiver, he's a money stealer
He will destroy at his command.
When the music starts, you will have to stand
To hear Harry Reid's Hammer and Sickle Band.
Once you get it, you'll sure regret it.
Barack Obama's Medicine Show.

You will not die happy if you catch this affair
For a man is a fool who heeds Obama's call.

Then there's Miss Pelosi, she's got Botox to her knees.
She is fool's gold down underneath.
She's a socialist singer and a bullshit slinger
The likes of which you have never seen.
Once you get it, you'll sure regret it.
Barack Obama's Medicine Show.

To hear the original, go here.

When Pigs Fly

2010-09-13T15:20:00.000-07:00

A story, sung by B.H. Obama, Esq., about our economy...

Dig if u will the picture
Of an economy full speed ahead
I've been tryin', nothin's been working
Can u America
Can u picture this?

Dream if u can a stimulus
That actually could work out
I don't see it, I just see taxes
We need some more
To take cash away from u

Ten percent jobless is normal
The economy is so cold (so cold)
We have no clue what we're doing
But we'll do it just because we're bold
Business is evil, you know that
It's never satisfied (it's never satisfied)
I am the font of all goodness
My plans will create jobs
When pigs fly

Praise if u will my ego
Accolades I can't get enough
I've got the economy all tied up
Don't make me chase u
I've a nasty side

Ten percent jobless is normal
The economy is so cold (so cold)
We have no clue what we're doing
But we'll do it just because we're bold
Business is evil, you know that
It's never satisfied (it's never satisfied)
I am the font of all goodness
My plans will create jobs
When pigs fly

Ten percent jobless is normal
The economy is so cold (so cold)
We have no clue what we're doing
But we'll do it just because we're bold
Business is evil, you know that
It's never satisfied (it's never satisfied)
I am the font of all goodness
My plans will create jobs
When pigs fly

For the original, go here

Beltway Crooks

2010-09-10T08:15:00.000-07:00

Now, the 2CSMSAJB presents the national theme song of the Political Class... "Beltway Crooks"... dedicated to Rangel, Waters, Eddie Bernice, Bishop, etc., etc., etc., etc.

Beltway Crooks are dirty as a mud pit
Beltway Crooks are stoned on mountain dew
Beltway Crooks been thievin' since they's babies
Beltway Crooks seek office when they're two

Well, there's 13 hundred and 52 big time crooks in the Beltway
And they can heist more cash than the number of ants on a Tennessee anthill
Well, there's 13 hundred and 52 bagmen down in the Beltway
And any one of them scoundrels can steal twice as better than I will

I was just 13, you could say I was a political proverbial knee high
When I heard a couple new-soundin' dudes and they blasted me sky-high
And the newsman said every one is a lyin' ol' crook from the Beltway
And no one out here buys 'em, and I said, "But I will."

And it was
Beltway Crooks are dirty as a mud pit
Beltway Crooks are stoned on mountain dew
Beltway Crooks been thievin' since they's babies
Beltway Crooks seek office when they're two

Well, there's 16 thousand eight hundred 21 moms in the Beltway
All their friends are stealers and they ain't uptight if one of the kids will
Because it's custom made for any mother's son to be a big-time crook in the Beltway
And I sure am glad I got a chance to say a word about the crooks and the moms in the Beltway.

Beltway Crooks are dirty as a mud pit
Beltway Crooks are stoned on mountain dew
Beltway Crooks been thievin' since they's babies
Beltway Crooks seek office when they're two

To dig the original, go here.

Taxman 2010

2010-09-09T12:02:00.000-07:00

The mayor of Filthydelphia, Michael Squidward Nutter, is now talking about business privilege licenses for bloggers. The nerve of the man.

But we caught this on tape in his dishonor's office...

Let me tell you how it will be. (Taxman)
There's one for you, 19 for me. (Taxman)
Coz I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman.

Should 25 percent appear too small (Taxman)
Be thankful I don't take it all (Taxman)
Coz I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman.

If you write online I will tax your blog.
If you have a pet I will tax your dog.
If you have a Dew I will tax the sweet.
If you have a cold I will tax your heat.

Taxman!

Coz I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman.

Don't ask me what I want it for
(No, no Mayor Nutter)
If you don't want to pay some more
(Is it going to Mr. Greene?)

Coz I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman.

And my advice to you -- don't die (Taxman)
I need your money by and by

Coz I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman.
And you're working for no one but me.

For the original, go here

Some of Lindsay's Booze

2010-09-09T11:45:00.000-07:00

Our California connection brought this tune to our attention. In honor of celebridrunk and sometime actress Lindsay Lohan, we present "Some of Lindsay's Booze".

Tell me, just one more time
The reasons why you must leave.
Tell me once more why you're sure you don't need me.
Tell me again, but don't think you'll convince me.

You said instead of fallin' off the wagon again you'd rather be dead.
When you wake up sober, you cry your eyes red.
There's nothing so hard about the life that you've led.

As far as I can see, there's no reason for goodbye.
You're just runnin' scared, and you don't need to go dry.

So you lose. I won't let you go with nothing to show but no booze.
All this talk about leavin' is strictly bad news
So you settle down, have a drink, coz you know it loves you.

(Harmonica/banjo interlude)

As far as I can see, there's no reason for goodbye.
You're just runnin' scared, and you don't need to go dry.

So you lose. I won't let you go with nothing to show but no booze.
All this talk about leavin' is strictly bad news
So you settle down, have a drink, coz you know it loves you.
So you settle down, have a drink, coz you know it loves you.
So you settle down, have a drink, coz you know it loves you.

For the original, go here

Sharia

2010-09-09T10:17:00.000-07:00

From Broadway (well, just a bit off Broadway, actually) comes this tune sung by Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf...

Sharia...

The most beautiful sound I ever heard...
Sharia, Sharia, Sharia, Sharia...
All the beautiful sounds in a single word...
Sharia, Sharia, Sharia, Sharia...

Sharia...
I've long known a law named Sharia
And certainly that name
Means every single thing to me

Sharia...
America needs you, Sharia...
It's everything I need
How wonderful you really be

Say it loud, and there's music playing
Say it soft, and it's just like praying

Sharia
I'll never stop working for Sharia

The most beautiful sound I ever heard
Sharia...

For the original, go here

The RINO Stomp

2010-09-08T18:45:00.000-07:00

We picked this one up from a highly reliable source from a new band called the Elephants. It's The RINO Stomp...

It's really hearty at the old Tea Party when they do the RINO stomp
Really somethin' when the joint is jumpin' when they do the RINO stomp.

Whoa, they start spinnin' every primary night
They dance the greatest and they do it right
Well, it's the latest, it's the greatest sight to see

It's really hearty at the old Tea Party when they do the RINO stomp
Really somethin' when the joint is jumpin' when they do the RINO stomp.

It started in Utah, Bennett got knocked out
Then in Alaska, Joe Miller made 'em shout
We're comin' for you now, look out, Mr. Grahamnesty

It's really hearty at the old Tea Party when they do the RINO stomp
Really somethin' when the joint is jumpin' when they do the RINO stomp.

It's got that groovy beat that makes you stomp your feet
Come on and try, you're gonna feel fine
And when you dance with me, you'll dance to victory
The RINO stomp will make you fine, so fine

Whoa, they start spinnin' every primary night
They dance the greatest and they do it right
Well, it's the latest, it's the greatest sight to see

It's really hearty at the old Tea Party when they do the RINO stomp
Really somethin' when the joint is jumpin' when they do the RINO stomp.

To hear the original, go here.

Is Rahm really running out on me?

2010-09-08T17:06:00.000-07:00

This little ditty was captured by a secret audio recording device implanted in the Richard Nixon portrait in the White House.
Seems the president was captured singing this tune late last night while having a chat with Tricky Dick...

Congresscritters out running from Pelosi down Main Street
I'm staring into my snoop cams as my coffee gets cold
Look over there! (Where?) There!
That's my chief of staff with a satchel in hand
He doesn't need that, or is there something else I don't know?

Is Rahm really running out on me?
Is he really gonna take the cash and run away?
Is Rahm really running out on me?
If my eyes don't deceive me, there's something going wrong around here.

This was the night I was supposed to get my hosannas
But even Reid says he can't be seen around here.
Look over there! (Where?) There!
Here's ol' Rahmbo with a Chitown pol
This looks like something about which I don't know.

Is Rahm really running out on me?
Is he really gonna take the cash and run away?
Is Rahm really running out on me?
If my eyes don't deceive me, there's something going wrong around here.

And if looks could kill
There's a man there who's marked down as dead
Cause I've had my fill
Someone put something upside Beck's head
I can't believe they're ditching me.

Is Rahm really running out on me?
Is he really gonna take the cash and run away?
Is Rahm really running out on me?
If my eyes don't deceive me, there's something going wrong around here.

For the original version, go here.

Welcome

2010-09-07T19:58:00.000-07:00

This is 21st Century Schizoid Band, presenting the music you never thought you'd hear or see.

We'll open our regular presentations with a song dedicated to one whacked-out meteorologist, who spends a whole lot of time chasing bad weather.

Who ya gonna call?

CANTORE!

If the weather's bad in your neighborhood

Who ya gonna call (Cantore)

If it's somethin' weird an it don't look good

Who ya gonna call (Cantore)

I ain't afraid of no storm

If you're seein' things blowin' thru your head

Who can you call (Cantore)

Your neighbor's roof flyin' overhead

Oh, who ya gonna call (Cantore)

I ain't afraid of no storm

Who ya gonna call (Cantore)

If you're all alone pick up the phone and call (Cantore)

I ain't afraid of no storm

I don't like to boast

I ain't afraid of no storm

Who you gonna call (Cantore)

Mm…if you've gotten close

To a Cat-4 dose

Babe, you better call (Cantore)

Bustin' makes me feel good

I ain't afraid of no storm

Don't get caught alone oh no…(Cantore)

When it comes through your door

Unless you've just got some more

I think you better call (Cantore)

Ooh... who you gonna call (Cantore)

Who you gonna call (Cantore)

Ah, I think you better call (Cantore)

I can't hear you…(Cantore)

Who you gonna call (Cantore)

Louder (Cantore)

Who you gonna call (Cantore)

Who can you call (Cantore)

You can listen to the original here.